About Dark Lord Seeks Friendship, Maybe More
Written by Elisa Viperas
67 pages
ISBN: 978-1-60370-044-3, 1-60370-044-7
Available file types - html,
lit, pdf, prc
Velenth is a Dark Lord, full of dirty tricks and dark intrigue. He's not exactly the kind of ruler his people might have wanted, but he's helped them out a lot, improving the economy and the sewer system.
He's even creating a new fashion statement with his dark and dipped
in black ways. So why is he so lonely. Velenth knows just what he needs,
so he decides to put out a personal ad. For friendship, maybe more.
Can he find what he needs in this hilarious fantastical romp?
Review
Jodi Payne, co-author of the Deviations series, writes: Can a dark lord find love? Must "evil" and "romance" be contradictory terms? Might "dastardly" be sexy?
Why yes, yes it might.
In Ms. Viperas', erm... fairy tale (sorry, I just had to), an evil-minded, yet somehow endearing prince with a penchant for kinky boots assassinates his father and earns himself a kingdom. He wins his people over by jump-starting the sluggish economy, building a proper sewer system, and by proving that with the help of just the right interior decorator, malevolence can, indeed, be stylish.
However, while the moody black clothing and creative executions bring the Dark Lord some joy, they can't seem to make up for the lack of a companion, and so he and his closest advisors put their heads together and come up with the perfect solution: a personal ad.
Dark Lord Seeks Friendship, Maybe More is entertaining and just plain fun to read. Ms. Viperas' clever turn of phrase and witty story-telling doesn't disappoint. If you like a little comedy with your romance and you're looking for a satisfying read? This Dark Lord has got your number.
Sample
Prologue: A Very Brief Explanation of the Current Political Climate
in the Kingdom of Thance
Once upon a time there was a beautiful queen who stopped smiling. Her
smile had been the most dazzling in the kingdom, but as time went by,
she displayed it less and less until one day it disappeared completely.
For the Queen wanted the one thing she did not have: a child. The years
passed, and she began to lose hope of ever being a mother.
Desperate and out of options, the King trekked through the mountains
to seek out the Fairy of the Morning Wood. The fairy in question had
heard all the jokes, but politely faked a laugh when the King gave his.
In truth, she was quite relieved to receive a visit from the King since
nowadays more and more royal couples were opting to adopt deserving
children of humble origin.
"We can go about this one of two ways," the fairy informed
the King. "Cheap and quick, or costly and slow."
"Oh, man, cheap and quick," the King said.
"Wait, wait," the fairy said, holding her hands up. "Hear
me out. The slower way might take me up to two years, and you'll have
to pay for some really rare ingredients, but I can pretty much guarantee
a top notch sort of offspring. Good-looking, clever…"
"Mmhm," said the King. "So, cheap and quick?"
"Well, you'd get results within nine months," the fairy explained.
"But you've got a fifty-fifty chance of winding up with an evil,
usurping child that kills you in your sleep on their sixteenth birthday."
She paused. "That or he'll have fire in his blood. I'm not sure,
it's been awhile."
"Eh, what's life without some excitement?" The King grinned.
The fairy quietly decided he must have been one of those kings who had
won his kingdom with the help of a very smart farm animal. She accepted
his money, said no more, and sent him on his way.
The fairy rolled up her sleeves and did a damn good job considering
she had only generic ingredients.
Soon, the Queen gave birth to twin boys.
Velenth the Fair had large eyes as blue as the sky and sweet blond wisps
of hair. Nalenth the Dark had eyes like little jet beads and coal black
hair that stuck out in tufts. Velenth became a happy child, quick to
laughter, who endeared himself to many by offering hugs and flowers
he'd picked himself. Nalenth skulked around corners, had a perpetually
sour, sullen look on his tiny face, and whined whenever anyone tried
to touch him.
In the interest of self-preservation, the King sealed Nalenth in a large,
black tower, ignoring the advisors who said that locking Nalenth in
a tower would make him want to kill his father. Better safe than sorry.