About Hot Lava
by Rob Rosen
286 pages / 78000 words
ISBN: 978-1-61040-159-3
Ebook zipped file contains -
html, lit, Adobe and Sony optimized pdf, prc, epub
Multiple double-crosses and scams are afoot involving two scheming
pimps, several rogue cops, dangerous Japanese businessmen, a cross-dressing
lawyer, Mormon bad guys, and incarcerated drug dealers, all under the
watchful surveillance of our heroes, Chase and Brandon, not to mention their
drag alter-egos, Liza and Judy.
“Hot Lava” is a romantic comedy/murder mystery, as well as a laugh-out-loud
funny and often deadly romp from one end of Oahu to the other. This
heart-pounding thriller is about a dream vacation that quickly turns awry,
with escaped convicts washing up on shore, bad guys scheming to do harm to
our heroes, and sexy romps in unusual settings. It’s chock-full of witty
banter and outlandish escapades, death and depravity, and friends, lovers,
and other assorted crazy characters that fairly jump off the page. Take a
vacation with Chase and Brandon and get yourself into Hot Lava!
Review
Kiernan Kelly, author of Change in Attitude, writes: A vacation in Hawaii is just what best friends Chase and Brandon need. With a lush, verdant island, half-naked men on the beach, and lots of tall, tropical drinks, they should be in paradise. Unfortunately, their holiday quickly turns into Paradise Lost when they meet handsome Will, an F.B.I. agent on their plane who happens to be handcuffed to a wanted drug smuggler.
Things only go from bad to worse for Chase and Brandon as they're inexorably drawn deeper and deeper into a web of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Their vacation may very well turn out to be their funeral if they can't figure out who did what to whom and why before those same criminal elements find them.
I've been to Hawaii. Not literally -- the rich prose of Rob Rosen's Hot Lava has brought me there, gifted me with the sights, textures, smells, and sounds of the islands, truly making me feel as if I was there on the hot sand along with the heroes. With a deft touch and a story rich in detail, Rosen takes the reader on a guided tour of Oahu, while serving up a great mystery, hot men, and even hotter sex.
I loved Rosen's voice in this book. Told in first person POV (a difficult
thing to do, but fabulous when done correctly, as it is here), I found this
book to be a funny, hot, and incredibly satisfying read.
Other reviews for Hot Lava:
“Rob Rosen knows his Hawaii better than any tour guide, and doesn’t
hesitate to mix the good, the bad and the steamy in this funny, sexy
romp through the dark side of an island paradise.”
-- Neil Plakcy, author of the Mahu mystery series
“Set in scenic Hawaii, Hot Lava, Rob Rosen’s latest campy adventure, is
true beach reading of the highest order, full of drinks, drag, daring
adventure and dishy repartee.”
-- Jim Provenzano, author of PINS, Monkey Suits and Cyclizen
“Rob Rosen has crafted a story that you just don’t want to stop reading.
The twists and turns draw you deeper and deeper into this tropical
mystery and you never know where you'll end up or who you'll end up
with. There was "Thelma and Louise" for the girls and for us guys there
is "Hot Lava". So pour yourself a cocktail, make yourself comfortable
and come along for the ride. You'll love it.”
-- Wayne Mansfield, author of Highway Patrol and The Collection
“Hot Lava, a funny, sexy mystery novel with a tropical twist, is a
who-done-it with a healthy dose of who-done-who. I laughed from
beginning to end, and then looked for tickets to Oahu. Just to see if I
could get into half as much mischief as Rosen's heroes.”
-- Michael Luongo, editor of Looking for Love in Faraway Places
“Make yourself a killer Mai Tai and settle in for another travel
adventure from Rob Rosen. Gay best buddies Chase and Brandon fly
first-class to Hawaii and the intrigue begins before they even touch
ground. The hard-drinking, pill-popping part-time drag-diva protagonists
are soon joined by Brandon’s demanding sister Briana and a cast of
characters that includes locals and haoles alike, most notably the
handsome FBI agent Will. But he turns up missing in the first act and
the body count begins before our heroes (or heroines?) can execute a
plan to rescue him. You can almost smell the plumeria blossoms and feel
the trade winds in the air – a perfect book to take along on your summer
vacation this year… or to read while you dream of taking one.”
-- Mark Abramson, author of the Beach Reading series
“Hot Lava” is sexy, sultry…and scalding to the bad guys. Hot Lava is Rob
Rosen’s new novel full of twists, turns, and tricks. Rosen’s Chase and
Brandon are like male incarnations of Edina and Patsy from the BBC’s
“Absolutely Fabulous” – dropped in Hawaii, looking for cocktails,
shopping, and men. That concoction delivers fun and laughs for the
reader, but deadly situations for Chase and Brandon. A limo ride from an
attractive driver, plus an encounter with a hot FBI agent and his man in
handcuffs, start the adventure. Add to the mixture a hearty spice of
sex, drugs, and drag queens, and the reader is hooked. Hold on, because
the plot intertwines and knits a fast-paced web of lies and deceit that
only Chase and Brandon can unravel with the help of a constant stream of
fruity island cocktails. Grab a Mai Tai and sit with your feet in.”
-- Greg Lilly, author of the Derek Mason Mystery series
“Pour yourself a Mai Tai…or three…and escape to the islands for a
mystery you’ll never find on Hawaii 5-0. This is more like
5-ooooooooooh! Sex, drag queens, sex, hot dudes, sex…and did I mention
the sex? With Hot Lava Rob Rosen has once again created a
wholly-entertaining romp that should adorn every beach blanket from
P-Town to Key West and beyond.”
-- Kemble Scott, author of the bestselling novels SoMa and The Sower
Sample
We stood up and leaned over the railing, our body’s
rising and falling and swaying with the waves. My eyes scanned the shore,
moving from hotel to hotel, from palm tree to palm tree, to the mountains
that rose up just beyond Waikiki, dotted with endless houses nestled among
impossibly steep slopes. The clouds, white and billowing, moved in and
around them. Breathtaking. As was the company. Will’s hand covered my own as
he leaned in tight to me. Snug as a bug in a, um, boat.
And then he was pointing, excitedly, and hollering. “Whale!” he shouted, his
voice full of excitement.
The entirety of the boat ran to our side, all of them pointing, all of them
shouting. A whale had breached the surface not a hundred feet from the right
of the bow, massive in size, dark and knobby, its humongous frame lunging
sideways with a fin seemingly waiving to us before it crashed back down. My
smile was so wide that it hurt and my breath was caught in my throat. A
whale! A fucking whale!
“A whale! A fucking whale!” Brandon yelled. (Yes, I know, scary that our
minds are in sync like that.)
All those around us watched in silent awe. And then the peace was shattered
by the dog barking behind us. We all ran to the other side, thinking that
the whale had swum around us and breached, yet again. Sadly it wasn’t the
whale that had breached; it was a body, upside down and floating. Lifeless
and blue as the water.
Most of the boat averted their eyes, save for Will and the crewmen. The
captain steered us closer and two of the men pulled the body out. Again
there was silence, except for a few of the women who were now sobbing. The
body was dragged up front and flipped over.
It was Will who spoke first. “Lenny,” he whispered, making the sign of the
cross over his chest.
Brandon and I couldn’t help but look. The man was naked, blue, as I’ve said,
and bloated. Still, it seemed he’d not been dead all that long. It was
clearly the man we’d been searching for, his neck slashed, the wound gaping,
jagged. We wretched and quickly turned away.
Koni walked over and had a look, then came back over to our group. “That the
guy you were looking for, dudes?” he asked.
“Was looking for, yes,” I replied, with a whimper.
“Hmm,” he hummed, pulling on the small goatee that managed to sprout from
his chin.
“Why hmm?” Brandon asked.
“He’s the drug smuggler? I mean, was the drug smuggler?” Koni asked.
“Supposed drug smuggler,” I replied. “Again, why?”
“Dude was dumber than dirt. I mean, I don’t know how smart you have to be to
be a drug smuggler, but I’d think it takes a bit of, I don’t know, common
sense.”
“But you told us that you didn’t know Lenny,” I reminded him.
“I don’t. Didn’t. Not by name, anyway. Used to see the guy at the bars. Hard
to miss. He was cute. And stupid. Ditzy. Nellie as the day is long. Flight
attendant I can believe. Drug smuggler, nah, no way. But that’s just my
opinion. Guess anyone can smuggle drugs up their ass, even idiots. I suppose
it made for a good cover.”
Brandon and I looked at each other, clearly thinking the same thing. You had
to be stupid to smuggle drugs, but to get away for it for a year, at least,
you couldn’t be that big of an idiot and not get caught. Maybe we were
seeing things as we wanted to see them, but still, it was proving our hunch
correct. Then again, seeing as the dead told no tales, we weren’t going to
find that out from Lenny.
I leaned in to Will and held my hand over his ear. “I know you’re not going
to want to hear this, and I know it’s inappropriate to say,” I whispered,
“but you’re off the hook now. The authorities can’t tie his escape to you,
or us, anymore.”
He frowned. and whispered back, “True, but his death is my fault. He’d still
be alive if I didn’t get into the limo with you two. But at least now I can
offer my services to the local police under the pretense that I brought him
in and the murder of an interstate drug smuggler falls under the F.B.I.’s
umbrella.”
“Supposed interstate drug smuggler,” I corrected.
“Maybe,” Will said. “Still, he knew something about something, or he
wouldn’t be wearing that new neckline of his. And the kid was right about
one thing: a stupid flight attendant does make for a good cover. In any
case, you two are out of this now. Too dangerous.”
I looked back out to Waikiki, our hotel growing closer and closer,
beautiful, majestic, tainted forever by what lay behind us on the boat. He
was wrong, though; we’d still help. Had to help. It was our fault, too.
Inadvertently, but still our fault. I could see it in the crease in
Brandon’s forehead that he was thinking the same thing. (Or maybe he was
just thinking that he needed a drink, his cup now empty.)
“Okay,” I lied to Will, and then leaned in to Brandon’s ear. “You thinking
what I’m thinking?”
“What? That I need a drink? Or three?” -- See! -- “Or that we need to do
some Judy and Liza shopping when we get back? Our drag alter-egos are about
to make a comeback, I take it.” (Too bad our minds were in sync on that one.
I liked the drink option a whole lot better.)
“Well,” I said, forcing a smile, “at least we get to do some clothes
shopping.”
“Way to go, Chase. Always look on the bright side.”
We both turned and stared at the corpse not twenty feet from us. “Let’s hope
there is a bright side, Brandon. ‘Cause right now things are looking kinda
dark.”
And they were going to get a hell of a lot darker.
(Cue the ominous music.)