About Catching a Second Wind
by Sean Michael
202 pages / 73500 words
ISBN: 0-9748202-1-0
Available file types - html, lit, pdf, prc, paperback
When Dakota lost Mike he thought he was done for when it came to love. Heck, after losing a lifetime partner, he figures it’s even affecting his ability to do his job as a veterinarian. Which is why he lets his friends convince him to see a psychologist.
Ben is understanding, sympathetic, and a good listener. He’s also the most attractive thing Dakota has seen in a long time. Before they know it, Dakota and Ben are moving from being in a doctor patient relationship to something a lot more interesting, and that presents a whole new set of problems.
Can these two put aside the past and build a new life together, one that is uniquely theirs?
Sample
Ben said goodbye to his Wednesday evening appointment and went back to his office to transfer his notes to his computer. He let Freud out of her cage first, his sweet girl climbing up to her usual perch on his shoulder. He stopped in the kitchen, too, grabbing a couple of treats for Freud and some cookies from Mrs. Wilson for himself. She spoiled him and he was going to get fat.
He'd just about finished typing up his notes when the phone rang. ''Ben Malone.''
''I... Uh... I'm sorry to bother you. It... It's Dakota St. Ama.'' The voice was raw, upset.
Oh, man, it didn't sound good. Poor guy. ''Hi Dakota,'' he said softly. ''What's wrong?''
''I... I... Uh. I had to put one of my pups down. Lennon dug under the fence. He got into poison. I... I'm sorry. I should go.''
''Oh, no, Kota. Not one of your own. I'm so sorry. Don't go. I'd like to help if I can.''
''I... He was hurting. I couldn't not.''
''Of course not. It's the most humane thing to do.'' He looked at his watch, almost 9 pm, but he didn't have any clients until afternoon tomorrow. ''Where are you? Would you like me to come to you?''
''I'm home. At Mike's house. I... I need a beer and to clean this shit up. My poor baby, he bled everywhere...'' A soft sob sounded.
Jesus. That just wasn't right. ''You shouldn't have to clean that up by yourself, Kota. Tell me how to get there?'' The directions were straightforward, simple, outside of town about fifteen minutes. ''Listen to me, Kota. I want you to go outside and wait for me on the front porch. You have a front porch, right? If not just sit on the lawn or something and wait for me. You don't have to clean that up by yourself, okay? I'll be there soon.''
''Okay. I'm sorry, Ben. I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call. Annie was crying and crying...''
''It's okay, Kota. I told you to call, didn't I? I did.'' He gathered his keys, a change of clothes, his razor and toothbrush, throwing them into a backpack as he talked to Kota -- he didn't know how late it was going to get or how much he was going to drink and he figured better safe than sorry. He put Freud into her cage and checked the water and food, both were fine. ''I'm going to have to hang up now, okay? So I can drive? You call back if you need to before I get there, okay?''
''Yeah. Yeah, I... Yeah.'' The phone went dead in his hand. Shit.
He drove like a maniac, surprised he didn't get stopped by the cops. He was relieved when he turned down the drive to see someone on the front porch. Kota was sitting, rocking a little, a bottle of whiskey beside him.
He parked and got out, sitting next to Kota, hand on the man's knee.
''Hey.'' Those thin cheeks were wet, eyes red and empty. ''Sorry to get you out so late.''
''It's not a problem, Kota. I'm glad I can be here to help.'' He gave into his impulse and pulled the man into a hug. Kota was stiff for a second, then melted into him, sobbing hard, thin shoulders shaking. He stroked Kota's back, feeling just awful and wishing there was more he could do. ''That's good, Kota. Let it all out. It's okay.''
''I...'' The harsh sobs eventually faded, Dakota shaking, gasping. ''I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just... He was so young. I wasn't ready.''
''I know. It's alright to cry, Kota. It's good to cry. To let it out.''
''It's not. It's stupid but I can't... Oh, my sweet pup...'' Kota stood suddenly, almost knocking him over, and stumbled down the stairs, vomiting. Tears prickled in Ben's eyes and he wiped them away.. He stayed where he was though, giving Kota a bit of privacy. Kota stayed on the ground on hands and knees, shoulders shaking. ''I can't do this.''
He went down and crouched next to the man, rubbing his back. ''What can't you do?''
''This. I can't. The floors are a mess, the kitchen. Lennon bled all over Mike's floors.''
''You don't have to worry about that, Kota. I'll take care of it, okay? You go visit your sugar gliders and the rest of the critters. Or dig a hole for him. Okay?''
''No. No, you don't have to. It's nasty. I shouldn't have bothered you, Ben. I just... I needed to talk with someone and Anne and Wes were both so upset and...'' Kota stopped, tried to catch his breath.
''Sh, sh, take it easy. Of course you should have bothered me. I told you to call. Why were Anne and Wes upset?''
'''Cause... cause they knew Lennon, too, yeah? And he was groaning and bleeding and I couldn't get him into the office, even, so I did it here and they came, but she's pregnant and the whole mess upset her and...'' One shaking hand motioned towards the house. ''Look at it, that house shouldn't be bloody.''
''Okay. Okay, Kota.'' He pushed their foreheads together, hands stroking Kota's head. ''You need to go and do something good and positive while I clean up, all right? No apologies to me, just go hold your other critters, okay?''
Dakota nodded. ''My poor loves. They've been howling and Miss Cassie doesn't know what to think.''
''Go take care of them, Kota. They need you.'' He got a rough, quick hug, then Dakota stumbled away, heading for an enclosure that looked like a mother-in-law's suite, the dogs going insane.
He took a deep breath, trying to brace himself for what he was going to find and then went in. It wasn't as bad as he'd feared -- although he could see what Dakota meant, everything was glass and chrome and perfect and the slightest stain would be out of place. The kitchen was the worst, the splashes of blood bright and ugly.
The dog was on the stainless steel island, white and odd-looking, basset hound ears huge and limp. He found a garbage bag, spreading it out and rolling the body onto it. Then he took it to the entrance hall. He'd have left it right outside, but was worried something wild might be attracted to it. He'd find out where Dakota wanted Lennon buried.
Then he found the cleaning supplies and started scrubbing. At one point he heard the door open and close, then he saw Dakota walking with a shovel through the vast kitchen windows. It was giving him cognitive dissonance -- to see the man who was so obviously a cowboy in this sterile house. He cleaned until it was spotless and then he went back out, heading in the direction he'd seen Dakota taking, carrying Lennon's body.
He could hear Dakota talking, digging. ''...should be here with me, Mike. It's fixin' to be your birthday and you should be here and helping me dig and telling me to chill the fuck out and pouring the whiskey.'' He stopped to listen. Oh, no, Dakota wasn't angry at Mike for dying. Nope, not at all. ''He was looking at me, you bastard, looking at me and convulsing and wondering why I couldn't fix it, just like you. Looking at me with these scared fucking eyes, hurting so fucking bad.'' Ben closed his eyes, holding the dog tightly to his chest. God damn it life dealt some shitty fucking hands. Dakota growled, attacking the ground with the shovel. ''I hope you're happy. I swear to fucking God, if you're pissed at me for crying I'll live for fucking ever and never ever come find you. I love these fucking dogs. They're my family. They're all I have now.''
Ben took a deep breath, staying quiet, letting Dakota finally get some of it out. The words and tears went on and on, Dakota stripping his shirt off, sweating even in the cold air, long muscles working furiously. Finally the words stopped, the digging slowed.
He moved forward then, letting his footsteps make noise.
''You got him, Doc?'' Dakota looked old. Tired. Lost.
He nodded. ''Yeah, Kota, I do.'' He looked down into the huge hole Dakota had dug. ''I think that's big enough.''
''Yeah? Cool.'' Dakota took Lennon, cradling him gently. ''I'm so sorry, pup. I tried. Such a good boy.''
He wished there was something he could say, but there just wasn't, so he put his hand on Dakota's shoulder and was just there. Dakota sighed and lowered Lennon into the hole, slowing covering the body up. By the time he was done, Kota was shuddering, shaking hard. He took the shovel out of Kota's hands and drew the man into his arms, holding him tight.
Kota's skin was cold, clammy, the man in shock and Ben started walking them toward the house, toward heat and light. He started talking to Kota, nothing important, just giving the man his voice, something to focus on that wasn't death.
''Thank you for coming, Ben. Thank you. I'm so sorry you had to, but I needed someone.''
''I'm glad you called, Kota. I'd hate to think of you going through this alone.''
''Yeah. Yeah. I needed. I need a shower. And booze. Booze and valium and a bath.''
''Bath first and then the valium or the booze.'' He squeezed Kota's shoulders. ''You want me to stay?''
''I...'' Lord, those eyes were bright red, swollen. ''Is that okay? Is that... I mean, I don't know if that's okay to ask.''
''You didn't ask -- I offered.''
''Oh. Can you?'' He could see the effort each step took.
''I brought my toothbrush,'' he admitted. ''Things sounded pretty bad over the phone.'' He led Kota back into the house and closed the door. ''You look like you're going to fall over. Let's get that shower going so you can clean up really quickly and then bed.''
''Yeah. Yeah, bed. Bathroom's upstairs and to the left. There's a guest room. It's good.'' Dakota stumbled up the stairs.
He followed the directions and got them into the bathroom. He even got the shower going, the water good and hot. ''Okay, Kota, lets get the rest of your clothes off.''
''Uh-huh.'' Dakota's hands were blistered, clumsy, but the man got naked without any problem, stumbled into the huge shower and promptly sat.
Ben shook his head and pulled off his sweater and his t-shirt and leaned into the shower. Finding the soap, he got Dakota clean as quickly as possible. The man was pliant, like a giant doll. It didn't take very long before he was turning off the water and rubbing Dakota down with a thick towel. ''Come on out now, Kota. Let's get you to bed.''
''I'm sorry, Ben.'' Kota pointed the way to the master suite -- the huge wooden bed looking completely out of place, covered in quilts and three fluffy cats.
''It's okay, Kota. I don't mind.'' Like anyone with an ounce of compassion would leave the man alone in this condition. He helped Kota get up onto the bed and under the covers. ''I don't think you're going to need anything to help you sleep, are you?''
Kota shook his head and curled around one pillow, eyes closing. The tears were still coming, slow and steady, but Ben didn't think Kota even noticed, even knew. Poor guy. He wondered how long it would have taken for this to come if Lennon hadn't died, if Kota's support system hadn't been taken away. He was glad Dakota'd felt able to turn to him. As brutal as this was, it would have been worse if the man had had to deal with it on his own.
Ben decided to sit in the big chair by the window rather than look for a guest bedroom. Just in case.
He stole one of the quilts off the bed, disturbing one of the cats, but not Kota, and relaxed back into the cushions, watching Dakota sleep.
It was a long time before his own eyes finally closed.