Night of the Cosmozombies

by Bryn Haniver

I don’t normally go to malls. Ok, that’s an understatement. As a

self-avowed  ecofeminist, I loathe malls and everything they represent,

from the rabid  consumerism to the objectification of women.



So what was I doing in a mall the night before Halloween? Suffice it to

say  a visit to my sister in Tampa, two nephews and a guilt trip were

involved.



Courtesy of the special holiday hours it was nearly midnight, so I wasn’t 

too surprised when the lights abruptly went out. Most of the stores were 

already boarded up and the place seemed deserted – the emergency lighting 

cast long, creepy shadows off the Halloween decorations as a clock chimed

12  times. I’m embarrassed to say I jumped when a middle aged security guy

 popped out of a service door ahead of me.



“Time to leave, Miss,” he said.



“Sure,” I said. “But what’s that moaning noise?” We both looked towards

the  nearest darkened department store entrance. They were milling around

the  checkout counter, Beautifully Accessorized! with overstuffed but

trendy  looking shopping bags. A horde of young women.



One of them turned towards us and her lovely blank stare sent a chill down

 my spine. They all stopped suddenly, turning to look like they were 

telepathically connected. When one took a tentative step in our direction

I  grabbed the half closed storefront cage and began to pull it shut. At

that,  they all began to lurch forward.



The security guy followed my lead and we managed to bring the cage across 

before they got to us. A woman with Absolute Sexiest Hair! smashed into it

 first. Two more, wearing what could only be the Sexiest Jeans for their 

Shapes! thudded into the metal and began to shake it. Their eyes were 

glazed, their skin pale. A woman with a cropped top displaying Fab Abs! 

reached through, nearly grabbing the security guy.



I could smell a Flirty Fragrance! on the woman closest to me. The security

 guy backed away, looking amazed.



“What’s wrong with them,” he asked.



“It’s Halloween! They must be cosmozombies!” I said, my voice a bit 

squeakier than I’d like to admit.



“What?”



“Women who’ve been deadened by years of inane magazine articles, perfume 

ads, celebrity interviews and movies of the week. Zombies!”



He stared at the tangle of smooth limbs, big hair and garish makeup. “What

 do they want,” he whispered. “Our brains?”



“How the fuck do I know?” I said, my muscles already getting sore from 

holding the cage. “Probably Ten Steps to the Ultimate Orgasm”.



At that he dodged around the end of the barrier and ran straight into the 

middle of them. They began to tear at his clothes and I didn’t stay to see

 if they’d stop at his skin. The gate clattered against the polished floor

as  I let go and ran down the mall. There were more of them in other

stores,  lurching and moaning as I raced by.



At the LA Forrest store I slowed. I mean, these women looked more familiar

–  I saw denim, earth tones, that sort of thing. Sure, I knew the boutique

was  for overpaid big city posers who thought they knew something about

the  environment or feminism. But the closest woman was wearing an

unbuttoned  denim jacket. Her “Smoother Than Silk!” chest looked so –

well, inviting,  especially if I avoided meeting her glazed eyes.



I got a whiff of Woody and Warm! perfume right before a pair of arms 

clutched me from behind. The fingernails were ridiculous but the arms 

surprisingly strong. Before I could break free, Denim lurched into me as 

well, mashing her pale but firm breasts into my chest. I had a sleeveless 

cotton sweater on but the sensation of being pressed between the two of

them  sent a delicious thrill right through me.



I mentally kicked myself. These were zombies, not open-minded city girls

at  a Strawberry Music Festival. Behind Denim I could see several more

coming  out of LA Forrest. One was waving a popular women’s magazine in

front of  her, and as she got close I got a glimpse of the cover. It

featured two  spectacular redheads coyly eyeing each other under the

headline “Get in  Touch with Your Bi-Side!”



“Shit,” I said.



Denim, blank stare and all, mashed her thick lips into mine, and a lithe 

young brunette in a green print dress got a firm grip on my arm, pulling

me  sideways. More were coming, led by a short, buxom blonde wearing a

sports  bra and sporting a wide eyed innocence that just begged to be

dominated. Now  why couldn’t we have met under different circumstances? I

never meet women  when I visit my sister…



My thoughts were focused by hands that pulled violently at my sweater, 

popping the large buttons down the front. Denim was kissing my ear now,

her  tongue surprisingly deft. The teeth in the back of my neck had me a

little  worried, but whoever she was, she wasn’t biting hard enough to

break the  skin – just enough to make my knees weak. Green Print Dress

moved in to  tongue my exposed breasts – I grabbed her thick black hair,

thinking I would  pull her off, but instead my arm just held her close,

allowing her to suck  my stiffening nipple.



About then the buxom blonde arrived, immediately kneeling in front of me

and  fumbling with my shorts. An indeterminate time later I was thrashing

around  on the polished floor during my third orgasm when I heard a clock

chime. One  AM. Abruptly the hands stopped squeezing, the mouths and

tongues pulled  away. The horde of cosmozombies that had been ravishing me

stood up,  straightening their clothing. They headed for the exits,

muttering about  shopping late, leaving me sprawled in the aisle, clothes

shredded, chest  heaving and juices flowing.



After catching my breath, I headed for the parking lot. Though I hadn’t 

found a thing for my nephews, I had a feeling I’d be doing some Last

Minute  Shopping! here next Halloween.

end

read first place story

read second place story

read third place story

read other honorable mention story

return to contest page