September 14, 2007

To commemorate a highlight of pimpage collaboration –the fluffy pink bunny slippers of doom -- Mychael Black and Syd McGinley present:

Vampire meets Bunny!

Mikey the Minion carefully forged Draco’s Sinister Signature on a check.  The puppies in a flowery basket under the name block spoiled the effect, but Draco was working very hard to incorporate his nelly side after last year’s awful squeaky, pink-bunny slippers incident.  He’d learned his lesson.

Boris, his brother, was still not talking to him.  Apparently, Mikey’s half-formed thought that squeaky slippers would stop Boris dropping in unannounced had reached the powers that be and the curse had transferred to Boris.  Boris’ goth-porno career had, ironically, bloomed as a result through the twisted imagination of his intended prey, Kenny.

Alas, Draco was jealous of his brother’s fame for all the usual unreasonable brotherly reasons, but also on the not unreasonable grounds, thought Mikey, that vampires really shouldn’t be appearing as centerfolds in Stake Me! wearing nothing but their fangs and slippers.  It was their cover, as well as Boris, getting blown in last month’s issue.  

Draco had been moping for months about Boris’ fame. He was, at last, getting a steady diet since being freed from the curse and had plenty of blood and money.  But he was driving Mikey nuts.  Mooning around.  Muttering that no-one loved him.  Striking gloomy poses that showed off his cheekbones.  Mikey couldn’t take it any longer. 

He tucked the check and the personal ad form into an envelope and struck his arm out the front door far enough to clip it to the mailbox.  He’d found that, so long as his feet stayed inside, the Burning Hives that enforced his Servitude to Draco wouldn’t afflict him.

He mused for a moment, and then made a call: “Kenny?  Is Boris being as big a pain to you as Draco is to me? He is?  Then, listen…”

****

“But…” wailed Draco. “But...”

Mikey waited patiently.  He started rummaging through Draco’s closet because he knew what the outcome would be.   

“I’m Your Dark Master!  Your Liege Lord!”

“This pink cravat is nice,” said Mikey.  “It looks lovely with your black embroidered vest.”

“Your Sovereign of Sin. Your… No, it’s better with the pearly-grey vest… look...”

Mikey stepped aside.  He knew that now Draco was primping, his battle was won. 

Draco gave him a cross look even as he matched up his outfit.  “You said: Pink Goth looks for Romance and Snuggling.  I mean really!  How can I turn up in my Apparel of the Night now?”

“You like your pink gothic stuff.  And it’s a blind date.  Not Hunting for Prey.”

Draco showed his fangs for a second, and then:  “Perhaps both!” he said in a very perky, for a vampire, manner.  Mikey smothered a giggle and went to order himself the entire Lord of the RingsTM Figurine set – the Deluxe version that included all the orcs.  He’d earned it, and Draco wouldn’t notice the cost these days.

Across town, Kenny was encouraging Boris to stay in his costume.

“No, Boris, the PVC duster isn’t too much for your evening out.  Look – the residue from this afternoon’s shoot will wipe right off.  See how sexy and practical!  Your date with little Jaycee will be a smash if you sweep in all Dark Lordy. Didn’t his letter say he was into goth?”  

Boris snorted.  “I think he’s gonna be all emo…”

“He’ll still love the Dominion Drapery.”

“Oh bugger off Kenny.  Enough of your sass.  Just because you pimp me out with that camera doesn’t mean…”

Kenny just grinned, and mouthed “bunny boy.” 

“Where’s the almanac?” asked Boris grumpily. “You nearly fried me last week by misreading it.  I wanna check sunset for myself.”

“You know it’s at 7:10.  That’s why you asked Jaycee and his friend to meet you at 8:10.”
“One hour beyond the setting of the sun!” bellowed Boris.  “Get it right!”

“I don’t know,” said Sammi nervously. “They sound strange.  Both of them.  Your Boris sounds scary.”

“Your Draco sounds nutty,” snapped Jaycee. 

“I think we should go home.”

“Don’t be so silly.  We didn’t come to the city to hide.  We came to meet men.  Our beloveds!”

Even Sammi rolled his eyes at that.  Naive as he was, he still thought his cousin Jaycee was being a hair deluded.  Jaycee sighed, and tried to look moody and world-weary.  Sammi hid a smile.  It was hard when you remembered someone in their Peter Rabbit onsies to take them seriously even if they did now have short, spiky blue-black hair and lens-assisted dark-blue eyes.  And a wicked eyebrow piercing.  Sammi suspected the tattoo on Jaycee’s arm was a fake one.

Sammi checked out his own reflection in his Appletini glass.  He really liked the kool-aid pink streaks he’d added to his blond bangs. 

“Twink,” muttered Jaycee.

“Emo-boi,” giggled Sammi.

Sammi and Jaycee had only arrived in town a few weeks ago.  Their mommies (who were sisters-in-law) had made them promise to share an apartment and look after each other, or they weren't leaving the warren, um, home. 

Jaycee, despite being younger, thought that Sammi was way too innocent.  He’d whisper “Janet” at him whenever he caught Sammi being wholesome.  He felt very hip and sophisticated when he had to explain about Rocky Horror to Sammi!  It just proved his point!  

But it was Sammi’s smart idea to comb the personals ad and co-ordinate the replies so they could double date.  Jaycee was a bit sulky about this combination of city savvy (back home didn’t even have a paper -- just a notice board in the town square to announce bake sales and ice cream socials) and prudence.  Their mommies would be pleased that they were sticking together.  It wasn’t cool.   

Jaycee touched up his eyeliner.  Sammi fluffed his hair.  Their dates were late.  

In the parking lot, Draco was still hiding in his Cruel Chariot (a very nice little baby-blue Scion) and adjusting his cravat carefully.  He’d gone with all black after all with just a pink pearl stick pin and some yummy cherry lip gloss.  Mikey had put some Cutie-Claws Palest Pink on his nails so they had a subtle gleam.  He’d even whitened his fangs. 

But he felt awfully nervous.

He stayed in the car a little longer listening to his Phantom of the Opera cd.

Around the corner, Boris bounced off the bus.  (Despite having raked it in from his porno career, he was very cheap. He always bummed rides or took the bus.)  A mighty SQUEE echoed along the empty street.  Boris sighed.  He’d managed to forget he still had the slippers on.  The normal squee of his tread had become unnoticeable to him.  He had to find out how Draco had freed himself from the curse. 

He took a deep breath and took hold of his duster so that he could swirl it as he entered the bar and then let it settle gracefully around him as he stood silhouetted in the doorway. 

It worked perfectly.  The hem of his coat finished drifting into place as he completed his survey of the room hoping to spot a suitable awed date.

He gasped.

He choked.

He pointed weakly (yet dramatically!)

He drew breath and then managed a creditable roar:  YOU!

Across the room, Draco had entered from the parking lot and was frozen in horror gawping at his brother. 
“You!” he yelled in reply. 

A thought simultaneously struck the brothers.  “You?” they said anxiously as they remembered how cute their want ad replies had sounded.  

They stared across the room oblivious of irritated patrons weaving around them.
“Um… yoohoo?” tried Sammi timidly.

“OOOO-WEEE!” hollered Jaycee in his best bunny from the backwoods manner and then blushed as the whole bar turned to look at him.

He hung his head, but it had worked.  Draco and Boris were looking at them instead of glaring in vampiric incestuous sibling rivalry horror at each other. 

“PVC!” snorted Draco as they swept in unison towards the bunnies.

“Pink nails,” sneered Boris. 

“At least,” said Draco full of dignity, “I don’t squee when I walk!”

Speechless, Boris turned to smile seductively at Jaycee, and tried not to laugh when Draco politely said to Sammi:  “Snuggle bunny?  I’m Draco. Delighted to meet you.”

We need more bunny meets vampire scenarios because after all every bunny needs someone to love!  Write your best bunny meets vamp scenario -- any vamp and any bunny (Bunny the Vampire Slayer excluded!) -- in under 500 words and send it to both of us as an attachment:  mychael_black@yahoo.com and sydmcginley@hotmail.com.   Funny, hot, sexy, scary – it’s all good!

Contest closes:  midnight September 18.  We’ll pick two winners.  We’ll also post the winners to our LJ pages, so please let us know if that’s ok in your entry.

Prizes:
Syd is offering a choice between Put Some English on It (single author Taste Test), Until the End of Time: The Chariot (Arcana series), and Pet Sitting (a Sip starring Dr. Fell.) 

Mychael is offering a choice of Lessons Learned, Century Hill: Death (Arcana Series), or Hearth & Home: Well Laid Plans.

For the original pink bunnies and vampires collaboration which introduces Mikey, Boris, Draco and Kenny, visit our LJ pages today (9/14) for a re-run!

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Today's Scavenger Hunt Clue- Do angels and sparrows leave trails of feathers?